Who is your Hero?

I like this question. It provides more insight on the respondent than the object: What do you value? What inspires you? How do you define success?

The more I reflect, the less confidence I have answering this question.  My preferences aren't stable. A response to this question reflects how I view myself and the world around me at a given point in time.

Currently, I'll respond by saying I have millions of heroes, but I don't know who they are.   They aren't likely to be in the newspaper, though they may be. They probably don't have large followings on social media, though that isn't a disqualifier.  They may be exceptional in their field, though that isn't a requirement.

My heroes choose to live a well lived life.  I've been thinking about that quite a bit as well.  A life well lived is one that makes a balances achievement in four areas:

• Familially -  supportive and encouraging to those closest to you.  Faithful and kind. Understanding. Loving and beloved.  This extends beyond blood relations, to communities of friends and neighbors.  It does involve endurance - deep connections built over time.  I think of this as ever expanding set of concentric circles, with the commitment, and reward, to those closest to oneself of greatest importance, and lessening as the circle widens.
• Internally - at peace with oneself. Adherent to the goal of 'knowing thyself.' Aware of one's own desires and goals, and working toward finding peace and harmony between the desired and actual attainment of those goals and desires.
• Spiritually -  cultivate a long-term passion for something larger than oneself.  Outside of professional identity. Outside of family, and outside of one's own mind.  Enjoyed the pursuit of that passion with devotion. Could be religion, nature, art. Could be sport, writing, reading. Could be puzzles. Could be travel. Something that stirs the heart and connects the mind and body to something larger.  Enjoyed activities that bring life to life.
• Professionally -  work hard at something worth doing.  Make a positive contribution to the global project of improving economic and social well being. Everyone working today, regardless of prominence, title, income level is capable of this positive contribution.  Showing up, taking pride in your work and helping to build an collective enterprise with a common mission.

For most people, we can only see the signs of the last pursuit - so heroes typically named are those whose devotion to professional success, whether in science, business, sport, politics, etc. leads to a substantial positive contribution.  

There is greatness there. I read those biographies, marvel at the incredible gifts and dedication needed to pursue those goals, and appreciate the outsized impact those lives made on millions of people.

But, for me, that isn't yet a life well lived.  In fact, I suspect professional prominence is negatively correlated with health in these other three areas. Great external success can come at the expense of long term bonds to individuals closest to us.

The challenge in naming a hero is not knowing how anyone, perhaps even ourselves, are doing on the three other equally important aspects of good living. Clear measures of progress and indicators or health are missing.  I long ago discarded the advice that we must measure what matters.  Much of the above should not and cannot be measured, but it is no less real.

We all have one life to live.  I have no idea what path is right for you, let alone me.  What I do believe is that thinking more deeply about a life well lived helps decision making.  

I notice my own thinking changes as I revisit this question as I age. I'm quite sure my response in my 20s would focus on external measures of success - the 'world changing' impact of a career defined by a successful company, leading a country, or achieving athletic glory.  Now, in my 40s, I wonder more about what costs were incurred to enable that 'success.'  Who was this life lived for?  

I'm curious how I will think about this in my 80s.  Or, how others consider this question (I selection of books around the topic I enjoy are in the Reading page.)

For now, you have just read my answer to who is my hero.  It will certainly change, but just as surely reveals my values and goals in this moment.